The 4 Stages of Change
A Road Map of How We Transform Our Lives
Behavior change is often treated like magic:
Pick a goal → try hard → hope for the best.
But real change is predictable. It follows recognizable stages. And the more you understand those stages, the more compassion, clarity, and precision you can bring to your own trajectory.
The 4 Stages of Change track cleanly alongside the Competence Learning Model:
Unconscious Incompetence → Unawareness
Conscious Incompetence → Navigation
Conscious Competence → Discipline
Unconscious Competence → Habits
This model is not theoretical.
It’s the path every person follows when they grow.
Let’s break down each stage.
Stage 1: Unawareness
(Unconscious Incompetence)
This is the stage of being stuck without knowing why you’re stuck.
You don’t yet see the internal patterns holding you back, so the mind looks externally for explanation and survival:
“I don’t have time.”
“It’s just how I am.”
“This always happens.”
“I can’t change because my job/kids/energy/etc.”
“Other people don’t get it.”
“If circumstances were different, I’d be successful.”
This stage is defined by:
External blaming
Fixed identity statements
Hidden emotional patterns
Unexamined beliefs
Ego protections
Strategic self-preservation
Avoidance of discomfort
A false sense of certainty
This is the stage where change feels impossible—not because you’re incapable, but because you aren’t yet aware of what’s actually in your way.
Unawareness is not a moral failure.
It’s a developmental stage.
Everyone begins here.
Stage 2: Navigation
(Conscious Incompetence)
Navigation begins the moment you go from:
“I don’t know what’s holding me back” →
“I see exactly what’s holding me back.”
This is the Self-Leadership Framework in full force:
Awareness of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, patterns, emotional triggers, and resistance
Curiosity about why they’re here and how they formed
Clarity on the outcomes you want and why they matter
Ownership of your role in the process
Action in alignment with your values rather than your fears
This stage is:
messy
emotional
confusing
rewarding
vulnerable
empowering
clunky
transformative
It’s where old wiring unravels and new pathways begin forming.
You’re consciously working through resistance.
You see the tug-of-war inside you.
You’re discovering the beliefs behind your behaviors.
You’re learning how to respond instead of react.
This is the stage where your identity begins to shift.
Navigation is the hardest stage—and the most important.
This is where almost everyone quits.
This is where almost all change actually happens.
Stage 3: Discipline
(Conscious Competence)
Discipline is the stage where your emotional navigation skills become efficient.
This is what it looks like:
A thought pops up:
“I don’t feel like doing this.”
But instead of spiraling, negotiating, procrastinating, or hiding, you move from:
Awareness → Action
in a matter of seconds.
Examples:
“I don’t want to get up.” → You’re up 15 seconds later.
“I don’t feel like training.” → Shoes on, out the door.
“I don’t want to prep food.” → Vegetables are chopped before the argument even starts.
This stage shows you that:
Your old wiring is weakening.
Your new wiring is strengthening.
You’re becoming someone who can act in alignment even when you don’t want to.
Discipline still requires energy, but far less than Navigation.
If Navigation is the construction phase,
Discipline is the newly paved road—smooth enough to drive, but still some small bumps along the way.
This is the stage where confidence is built rep by rep.
Stage 4: Habits
(Unconscious Competence)
Habit is the stage where the behaviors that used to feel hard become who you are.
They are:
fast
frictionless
automatic
identity-driven
integrated
You no longer “try” to do them—
you simply do them because you are them.
This is:
the early bedtime
the morning movement
the way you eat
the way you communicate
the boundaries you keep
the workouts you never skip
the self-leadership you practice daily
Habit is the stage where the behavior becomes part of your identity:
“I’m someone who trains.”
“I’m someone who honors commitments.”
“I’m someone who expresses feelings honestly.”
“I’m someone who takes care of my body.”
But here’s the nuance people forget:
Not every important behavior becomes a habit.
Some actions:
will always require discipline
will always require occasional re-navigation
will always present some friction
And that’s okay.
The goal is not to automate your whole life.
The goal is to reduce unnecessary friction and strengthen identity-aligned behaviors.
A Final Note: Change Is Not Linear
You don’t graduate from a stage forever.
You can:
be in Habit for sleep
in Discipline for training
in Navigation for nutrition
in Unawareness for emotional expression
Different actions live in different stages.
And life transitions—stress, grief, injury, kids, work, identity shifts—can move you backward temporarily.
This isn’t failure.
It’s a dynamic process.
Self-leadership means knowing which stage you're in for each behavior—and applying the right tools for it.
If you are looking to join a group of men who are transitioning from Unawareness to Navigation in their fitness journey - I’m putting one together to support you on the path. Jump on a call with me HERE.