When Habits Work — and When They Don’t
James Clear’s Atomic Habits changed my life.
I don’t say that lightly.
It found me at the right time and right place in life. It gave me part of the road map I needed to get back to the best and truest version of myself.
Learning how to design better environments, reduce friction, and make good behavior easier was a turning point for me. Those principles helped me rebuild consistency in training, routines, and daily structure at a time when I desperately needed something solid to hold onto.
But here’s something I’ve come to understand more clearly with time:
Atomic Habits worked so well for me because it coincided with deep internal work I was doing at the same time.
Building Emotional Intelligence through self study and therapy.
Learning how to name what I was feeling instead of avoiding it.
I didn’t just change my external environment.
I changed my internal environment.
And that matters more than most people realize.
What Atomic Habits Does Exceptionally Well
At its core, Atomic Habits teaches this:
Design better environments so good behavior is easier than bad behavior.
Reduce friction.
Stack habits.
Make the right choice obvious.
Make the wrong choice harder.
That approach works—especially when life is relatively predictable.
When your schedule is stable.
When stress is manageable.
When your emotional world is regulated.
When you’re not carrying a lot of unresolved internal tension.
In those conditions, external structure is powerful.
Where Things Start to Break Down
Most men don’t fail on calm, predictable Tuesdays.
They struggle when:
work gets chaotic
kids get sick
sleep falls apart
travel disrupts routines
stress spikes
emotions surface
old patterns get triggered
The environment breaks.
Emotional energy is in flux.
Routines dissolve.
And when that happens, many men conclude:
“I lack discipline.”
“I’m not consistent.”
“I just need to try harder.”
But that’s usually not the real issue.
The issue is that no one taught them how to lead themselves when the environment stops cooperating.
Two Different Levers
This is the distinction I’ve been sitting with.
Atomic Habits works best when life is predictable.
It gives you tools to align your actions by shaping what’s around you.
Navigation exists for when life isn’t.
It focuses on how you relate to what’s happening inside you when pressure shows up.
Put simply:
Atomic Habits helps you act when conditions are favorable.
Navigation helps you act when resistance is present.
One reduces friction on the front end.
The other teaches you how to move through it on the backend.
The Missing Skill Isn’t Knowledge
Most of the men I work with already know what to do.
They know they should train.
They know they should sleep more.
They know they should eat better.
They know what consistency looks like.
What they don’t know is how to respond when:
motivation disappears
anxiety spikes
shame creeps in
overwhelm takes over
avoidance feels safer than effort
That’s not a habit problem.
That’s an internal leadership problem.
Inside-Out Work Changes the Equation
When I look back, I can see that Atomic Habits helped me build structure on the outside.
But the reason it stuck was because I was also learning how to:
recognize emotional states
sit with discomfort
name resistance
choose direction instead of drifting
take ownership without self-attack
Those skills weren’t taught by habit design alone.
They came from internal work.
And once those capacities were in place, habits didn’t just form—they held under pressure.
This Isn’t Either / Or
This isn’t about choosing one framework over the other.
It’s about knowing which lever you’re pulling—and when.
External structure matters.
Internal leadership matters.
But if you’ve already tried systems, routines, and optimization—and they keep breaking when life gets messy—the work isn’t to design a better plan.
The work is to learn how to lead yourself when the plan breaks.
That’s the space I’m exploring now.
That’s the gap Navigation is meant to address.
And it’s where most men get stuck—not because they’re weak, but because no one ever taught them this part.
If this feels like the crossroads your at on your health and fitness journey i’m here to help. I’ve got an 8 week group starting Feb 15, 2026 where we build the internal leadership skills with the support of other men on the same path. Group support, 1:1 coaching, program and nutrition to support your goal. Find out more here.